


you've always been my favourite place

by goldflower



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Firsts, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Light Angst, M/M, Super Cheesy Fic, it's like????? really small you barely have to worry about it, that's a small section too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-02-28 11:52:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2731436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldflower/pseuds/goldflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hi," the other boy says slightly, smile looking oddly pretty to Harry. "I’m Niall," he finishes with, his body moving to fully face Harry and hands stuffing tightly into his front jacket pockets. </p>
<p>“‘M names Harry,” Harry says and he doesn’t sound like his mum tells him he should when introducing himself, voice quiet and low, words tumbling out in a mumbled mess. He’s just nervous, it’s okay, and when he looks back up at Niall and sees his pretty smile again, he thinks it’s definitely okay, they’re okay. </p>
<p>or a growing up AU where Niall visits Harry during the Christmas holidays every year</p>
            </blockquote>





	you've always been my favourite place

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Hiiiiii!!! This may or may not be a self indulgent fic of all the times Harry's made Niall blush tbh. But I'm actually really nervous about this, wow, I just hope that bigpapipayne likes it!!! They asked for a fic basically about "an evolution of their lives/relationship just centered around the holidays" (there was more to it, but it was a large paragraph that I didn't want to put here, sorry). I accidentally forgot that they asked for New Years stuff as well, so so so sorry! Also, there's a small sexual scene that you could easily skip over if you're uncomfortable with it and brief mentions of underage drinking, but other than those I don't think there's really anything I need to warn you about other than the fact that this fic is really super cheesy.

 

December 22 1998; 

Harry’s got his face close to the cool glass of the living room window, feet pressing into the soft cushion of the couch and breath coming out in hot clouds against the window, spreading wide before disappearing quickly. He’s been like this for the past hour or so, hands getting colder the longer he has them tightly pressed against the glass as he watches snow continue to fall in wide fluffy dots. Harry’s been watching and waiting for a while now because it’s the good type of snow, the kind that crunches nicely under your feet and holds together nice and tightly when making a snowman. Perfect snow, Harry’s so excited. 

That’s when he notices a little boy he’s never seen before step out of the house from across the street. He looks like he’s around Harry’s age, maybe, eyes wide as he looks up to the sky to watch snow fall down on him. His poofy jacket makes him look a bit silly, Harry finds, before he’s pushing off the back of the couch and bouncing down to the floor. He doesn’t even care anymore about waiting until there’s a large amount of snow on the ground for his small weight to make slight indents into, instead running into his mum’s bedroom to make sure he can go outside right  _now,_  mum, there’s a  _boy_  out there before slipping into his outside stuff as quickly as he can after she says it’s okay.  

Once outside he tugs on the edge of the hat he’s stuffed his brown hair into, ends only starting to curl slightly. It’s a new edition to his darkening hair, he doesn’t mind. After looking both ways about a thousand times - if Harry could count to a thousand he would’ve looked that many times - Harry finds himself smiling shyly up at the new boy. He’s slightly taller than Harry only by a bit, but it’s a noticeable difference, Harry having to look up to see his face. 

"Hi," the other boy says slightly, smile looking oddly pretty to Harry. "I’m Niall," he finishes with, his body moving to fully face Harry and hands stuffing tightly into his front jacket pockets. 

“‘M names Harry,” Harry says and he doesn’t sound like his mum tells him he should when introducing himself, voice quiet and low, words tumbling out in a mumbled mess. He’s just nervous, it’s okay, and when he looks back up at Niall and sees his pretty smile again, he thinks it’s definitely okay, they’re okay. 

"I’m five!" Niall starts telling Harry, holding up a bare hand next to his bright smiling face, nose scrunched up, eyes squeezed closed, his palm is facing out at Harry and fingers spread wide. Harry feels himself wanting to pull on Niall’s hand, wants to pull it into the pocket of his own jacket, holding it with his gloved hand as he pulls Niall inside to cover up properly like his mother does to him when he forgets them. All of a sudden Harry finds himself looking into bright, wide, expectant blue eyes, very soft and pretty looking against the white snow surrounding the two boys. 

"What?" Harry asks, his own eyes spread wide in confusion. He watches as Niall’s freckled face slowly scrunches up again, corners of his eyes pinching together and his wide smile with a tooth off to the side missing is back as a loud bubbly laugh spills out of it. It might be one of Harry’s new favourite things to look at, all pretty against the snow.   

"I asked how old you are, silly Billy!" Niall says and he steps closer to Harry, smile softening and waiting nicely for Harry to answer. He pouts though, confused about why Niall’s calling him Billy when he obviously said his name is Harry. 

"My names not Billy," Harry pouts, arms closing slightly in front of his body and Niall’s laughing loudly again before poking the tip of Harry’s nose. 

"I know that, Harry," Niall says and it fills Harry with a warmth. "It’s just a rhyme! I learned it before coming down to Holmes Chapel! Pretty cool, right?" he ends up asking Harry and he finds himself smiling at the older boy. It is pretty cool, yeah. 

"Oh, but I’m four!" Harry says, gloved hand shooting up to display four fingers, a visual representation of his actual age. He puts them really close to Niall’s face and feels his warm breath come out against his palm and thumb and suddenly, he feels air leave his own lungs.  

"You could be my little brother!" Niall's shouting then, eyes bright and freckled nose scrunched up cutely. Harry bristles then, not liking that idea. He thinks about how Niall probably already has a little brother, maybe even  _two_  and that frustrates Harry’s little mind a bit because he doesn’t know how he treats his possible little brothers. What if he’s mean to them and wants to be mean to Harry as well? He also kind of doesn’t like the thought of being  _brothers_  with Niall for some other reason that he doesn’t even understand yet.  

"I don’t want to," Harry says with a small pout, cheeks turning pink a bit with the cold and Niall’s laughing again before lightly pushing at Harry’s shoulder. 

"You’re silly, Harry. I like you," Niall tells him and that makes Harry feel all light and fuzzy, chest warming up brightly like Christmas that’s so close now. Harry finds himself thinking about Niall spending Christmas over at his house and he thinks it’s a very nice thought. Before Harry can respond with a simple,  _I like you too,_  Niall’s grabbing his gloved hand with his bare one and pulling Harry off to the snow that’s piled up around them. “Let’s build a snowman,” he’s saying, hands digging into the snow right after. 

"Wait, you’re not wearing any mittens!” Harry yells at him, bending down to pull at his hands and stuffing them in his pockets, just like his mummy does to him. Niall’s laughing again and Harry’s so glad and proud of himself that he’s managed to do that to him more than once, but it slowly goes away when he feels Niall trying to pull his hands back out of his pockets. 

"Harry, please, I’ll go get some, then," he says, smile staying just as bright and wide as Harry watches some snowflakes fall onto his eyelashes. Harry notices how dark they are around the bright blue of his eyes, sees the tiny bit of brown fringe poking out of his winter hat and thinks he’s  _very_  pretty. Pretty like his sister and mum, and all those people Gemma has pictures of up along her bedroom walls and pretty like snow and flowers and - Harry finds himself sighing softly, fingers loosening their grip around Niall’s hands and soon they’re gone, leaving behind a coldness Harry doesn’t like. “Come with me, Haz,” Niall yells then, little giggles falling out of his mouth, hand fitting its way back into Harry’s before pulling him inside, making him completely forget about the sudden nickname.

Once inside Niall shouts that he needs mittens, his  _new best friend_  wants to build snowmen with him, it’ll be the best snowman ever because Harry’s  _really_  cool, and Harry watches with a blush on his cheeks as three older people come out to see him. Behind them he notices a couple that are  _really_  old watching them with smiles on their faces as Niall calls the lady pinching Harry’s cheek 'Ma’. She swats at Niall then, tells him to hush and Niall sighs and droops his shoulders, whines out a  _’Maaaaaaaaa’_ as she continues cooing at Harry’s dimples. 

"You’re embarrassing him," Niall says and starts pulling at his mum’s arm, who just let’s out a laugh before standing up with a, “right then, mitts,” mumbled under her breath. She walks off and Niall follows her with an excited jump in her step, the man that was behind Niall’s mum walking off with them and Harry thinks that’s Niall’s dad. A boy that’s older than him, but not  _that_  much walks up to him with an upturned nose and narrowed eyes. Harry feels like he did something wrong and frowns.  

"You’re short," he says and Harry looks down at himself, looks at the way his toes stuffed in his winter boots are tipped inward before looking back up at the other boy.   

"You’re tall," Harry answers back, not understanding that the other boy is trying to tease him. He hears Niall’s voice though, in the background shouting about a snack and some hot chocolate for when he gets back in, saying to make some for his best friend as well before he’s back beside Harry, shoving at the other boy on his way. 

"Leave him alone, Greg," he says before grabbing Harry’s hand and pulling him back outside, the fabric of his mittens catching against the fabric of Harry’s gloves in a funny way.  

They make two small snowmen, both close to the size of the two boys, but not quite reaching. Niall pulls Harry back into his grandparent’s home to have a snack and a cup of hot chocolate together to warm up after they’re done and satisfied. When Harry’s mum comes to bring him back home for dinner, Niall hugs him tightly before leaning back with the same bright smile Harry thinks is so very pretty.   

They invite Harry and his family over for Christmas dinner the day before Niall goes back home. Under the table, Niall hooks his ankle around Harry’s and smiles shyly at him with pink cheeks.  

- 

Harry has to actively try not to bounce as he walks because he’s worried about accidentally tugging on Niall too much and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he hurt him in anyway. Ever since they first met when they were five - Harry was still four, his birthday being after the new year, but it’s fine - they’ve become great friends, both boys looking forward to the holidays in excitement of seeing each other again. They have each year since the first time, and now here they are, nine years old - Harry eight - holding hands while walking to the nearest park. It’s a few blocks away and snow is slowly falling down. When Harry looks up at Niall he sees a soft smile on his lips before he’s turning to Harry and telling him a story. 

"There’s these kids in my class - Aisling and Ryan, they’re both my friends - well, they were holding hands one day before I came down to see you and they said they were boyfriend and girlfriend. That’s kind of silly, isn’t it? Aren’t boyfriend and girlfriends for teenagers?” Niall tells Harry and Harry has to sort of think for a minute. He tightens his hold on Niall’s hand - they hold each other’s hands all the time and it’s not silly, they’re also not teenagers either. Harry looks back up at Niall, still the taller of the two before shrugging his shoulders.  

"Well we hold hands all the time and it’s not silly, right, Ni?" Harry’s mind goes back to when Niall was six and Harry was finally five and Niall was telling him all about nicknames - his was  _Haz,_  and Harry liked it, it reminded him of fuzzy and fuzzy reminds him of teddy bears, so he liked it. Also because of Niall being the one to give it to him. Then Niall told him that he had to call him Ni as well and Harry took that to heart because he wanted to make him happy all the time. Niall looks down at him, eyes wide and sparkly, snowflakes catching on the hairs of his eyebrows.  

"You’re right, Haz! We are holding hands!” then Niall’s looking away, face relaxing and a new pink showing up over his cheeks and spreading over his nose. Harry’s reminded again of why winter is his favourite season - because of how pretty everything is. As Harry’s little feet take a few more extra steps to catch up to Niall who had sped up a bit, he notices that he looks sort of shy. All blushes and not looking back at Harry. It fills Harry’s tummy with a fluttery feeling that both bothers and warms him. When Niall notices Harry looking at him, he stuffs his nose into his scarf. “Then - then I g-guess you’re my b-boyfriend,” Niall mumbles into his scarf as he tightens his grip on the younger boy’s hand and Harry takes a minute to fully understand what he’s said before standing up straighter, eyes sparkling brightly. 

"You’re my girlfriend, then!" Harry says excitedly, the fluttering in his tummy going insane, but then Niall’s face comes out from his scarf and he’s laughing brightly, causing Harry to frown. He feels like he was wrong, which tugs uncomfortably at his chest. Harry really doesn’t want to be wrong about this, he would love if Niall was his girlfriend. 

"I’m not your girlfriend, Haz!” Niall says between laughs and Harry’s confused and feels like he was pushed down. He starts pouting and thinks that this feeling sucks.  

"But you said I’m your boyfriend?" Harry’s mumbling and he’s blinking quickly, trying to make the tears forming in the corners of his eyes go away. He doesn’t want to start crying about this, but he feels so hurt. 

"Yeah, I know, but I can be your boyfriend as well. It doesn’t just have to be boyfriend and girlfriends. That’s what my da told me, anyway, when I asked him. He even talked about you then, so I guess you really are my boyfriend!” Niall’s explaining and Harry feels the tugging of his chest going away quickly and feels it expanding instead. He smiles brightly up at Niall.  

"So we’re boyfriends?" Harry asks, just trying to make sure and Niall pokes Harry on the nose with the hand he’s not holding Harry’s with.   

"Obviously, we’re holding hands, aren’t we?" Niall’s saying as he tugs Harry’s body closer to his own, warming his whole side that’s touching Niall’s. Harry stuffs their hands into his jacket pocket and smiles shyly up at Niall who smiles shyly back down at him.  

When they get home from playing at the park, the boys both tell their parents the news of them being boyfriends, they hold hands all the time, so of course they are! Their parents just smile down at them before telling them to go and freshen up before coming back down for some cookies. Up in the bathroom Niall kisses Harry on the cheek and tells him it’s what boyfriends do. Harry loves what boyfriends do.  

- 

They’re up in Harry’s bedroom talking about everything that they’ve missed out on in the few months between holidays. Niall’s lying with his back on the bed, his legs spread and hanging over the edge, hands running through his newly dyed blonde hair as Harry sits beside him. Niall had asked Harry if he should dye his hair a few months ago, asked if he would look good with it and Harry had said yes, of course, because he honestly thinks Niall will look good with anything. Harry hadn’t expected him to actually do it - he seemed too unsure and like he wasn’t even fully into it. When they first saw each other this year and Harry had expressed his surprise Niall told him he’s an idiot and that it was all his fault, looking to the side with a pout and maybe, possibly, slightly pink cheeks. Harry told him he looked pretty when Niall looked back at him and he didn’t miss the way he pushed at Harry half heartedly and turned away with bright pink cheeks before asking if they could hang out in Harry’s bedroom. 

Harry’s telling Niall about all the drama that could happen with twelve year olds - like Amanda kissing Josh during recess one day and how everyone talked about if for a week. He was just finishing saying how he doesn’t get why everyone had made such a big deal about it - it’s just a kiss, he kisses his parents all the time and Niall’s cheek just as much as well when Niall’s sitting up onto his elbows and calling him a kid.  

"I know you’re older than me, but I’m not a kid," Harry says with a scowl down at his best friend and Niall’s laughing again, crooked teeth all shiny white and showing off. Niall used to never smile when his teeth grew in the way they did, saying it was gross and he looked ugly. Harry had kissed his cheek and told him he could never be ugly and that was the first time he saw Niall actually smile without trying to hide is teeth. And he was right - Niall could never be ugly.   

"I know that, Harry, but you just don’t get it, do you? Kissing someone is probably one of the best things that could ever happen, I’ve never done it, but I’ve seen it in movies and my parents used to do it all the time back when they were in love," Niall’s saying and he trails off a bit at the end of his sentence, becoming really silent. Not that long ago Niall’s parents got a divorce and it was really hard on him because of how much he loved both of them. He couldn’t stand not seeing them at the same time so it really broke his heart when he had to chose who to live with. Harry had comforted him as best he could with the distance and a curfew over the phone when the news came up. That night was the first night Niall told him he loved him and it sent Harry’s stomach over the edge, flipping a million times.  

He’s interested now, though. If kissing’s  _that_  great, then he wants to do it - wants to kiss Niall.   

"Let’s kiss then," Harry says suddenly and Niall’s head snaps from where he was looking down at the inside seam of his blue jeans up to Harry so fast it worries him a little. His eyes are wide, a pink washing over his cheeks again. He’s gotten that same reaction from Niall so many times now it’s become engraved into his mind, something he thinks about before he falls asleep some nights.  

"You can’t j-just kiss anyone, Haz!” Niall says a little too loudly, breath coming out in short, fast spurts, and Harry wonders idly how nervous he is. It’s not like they haven’t kissed before - it’s always been on some other part of them other than their lips, but still on the face. Still kisses. They could kiss on the mouth now, as well, yeah? Yeah, simple, they could do that. Harry looks down at Niall and sees him lying back on the bed with his hands covering his face, chest moving up and down quickly. “You - you kiss pe-people you ca-are about,” Niall’s saying slowly, voice muffled by his hands slightly. Harry still doesn’t see the problem. 

"Well, I care about you a lot, so why not?" Harry asks, looking back at Niall who squirms slightly and lets out a small whine.  

"It’s different!" Niall says sternly, hands pressing harder against his face. Harry thinks it’s actually not - he cares for Niall deeply.   

"There’s no way it could be any different, Ni, we could kiss. We even said we were boyfr -,” Harry feels his stomach explode with fluttering feelings again as his mind continues on, but his body leaves the sentence hanging with a huff of hot air from his mouth. Harry thinks about it - thinks about how every time he’s with Niall, every time he thinks about Niall, his hands get sweaty and his heart starts pumping really fast. He rubs his sweaty palms against the denim of his jeans and takes in a few deep breathes trying to calm his heart. It’s not different. He has a crush on Niall. He turns to look back at Niall who had sat up now and was looking at him with a confused expression, probably wondering why he cut off. 

Suddenly there’s a presence behind them and giggles. They both turn around at the same time to see Gemma standing behind them and holding a mistletoe above both of their heads with a devious smile gracing her lips. She tucks some hair behind her ear before looking at the two boys expectantly. 

"You wanted to kiss, yeah? Now you  _have_  to,” she says to the two younger boys and Harry blushes deeply. He wants to push at Gemma for eavesdropping on their conversation, but he’s also really thankful because he  _really_  wanted to kiss Niall. He peeks up at Niall from under his curly fringe, makes a mental note to ask for a haircut soon, and sees him looking down at his hands that are holding onto the denim of his jeans, cheeks pink. Niall closes his eyes briefly, let’s out a breath, before looking directly into Harry’s eyes. 

"Okay," he says and then he’s leaning in, eyes closing again and Harry has half the mind to close his own. When he feels soft, damp lips against his own and his eyes are crossed trying to keep them on Niall’s fluttering shut softly, he closes them finally. It’s simple, barely even one of those dramatic kisses he sees in movies all the time, but it still sends Harry’s head reeling. He purses his lips slightly against Niall’s already pursed own, hands twitching in his lap because he wants to  _touch,_  wants to feel what Niall would feel like against the palms of his hands, lips against his. Niall’s pulling away too soon though and Harry feels like he’s in a daze, barely registers Gemma’s happy laugh and clapping. 

"Mum! Bobby! Niall and Harry kissed!" she’s shouting then and Harry can’t find it in himself to care, just stares at the blush spreading out to Niall’s ears, making his freckles disappear. Niall starts tugging on his fringe as they hear their parents shout about how at least it was supervised, Harry ducking his own head in embarrassment.  

-  

Harry’s seriously about to kick Niall’s ass. Maybe not, but the thought is still there. He’s just so irritated with hearing the sound of Niall’s clicking on his phone and then a small giggle every once in a while. Niall had gotten a phone just recently, actually, and he also had gotten a  _girlfriend._  That’s what irritated Harry most about the texting, was that it was being sent to a  _girlfriend_  and not just to his mum or some other family member that doesn’t head down to Holmes Chapel with them. It sucks, if Harry’s being honest and he’s jealous, he’ll admit. 

"Smile!" Niall says suddenly and Harry looks up to see that he’s holding his phone up, camera facing the two boys and he’s pressing a button, flash going off and, oh, oops, Harry didn’t smile. Oh,  _well._  ”Aw, you didn’t smile,” Niall says after looking at the picture, Harry seeing the bright and happy smile of Niall’s, all crooked teeth and pink lips, and Harry looking all gloomy and upset in the background. They’re on Harry’s bed again, the boys spending most of Niall’s visit up there. Harry’s lying on his stomach playing on his Nintendo DS that he got last year at Christmas and Niall’s lying on his back perpendicular to the younger boy. Niall ends up sending the picture anyway. 

He gets a reply back almost instantly, a loud ding echoing around Harry’s room and Harry has to stop himself from groaning in annoyance at the sound. He hears as Niall shifts around, rolling onto his stomach and poking Harry in the side. Harry brings a hand down from his DS to hold his side that he won’t admit was tickled and pauses the game with the other before looking at his friend. His face has changed slightly since puberty. Fifteen years of life doing him some good, thinning out his face of any baby fat - he still has some, of course, but not as  _much._  Harry thinks he definitely looks his age, unlike himself who he thinks still looks like a twelve year old with his curls. 

"She says you’re cute," Niall says and Harry quirks an eyebrow at that. Isn’t Niall dating this girl? Why is she complimenting  _him?_  Niall doesn’t seem to be all that fazed by it, smile still just as content and happy, head slowly leaning down to rest on Harry’s back. 

"Why?" Harry asks glumly, not really caring, but caring enough to be curious as to why she said that. Niall scoffs then, rolls his head against Harry’s back to look up at him. 

"Because you are," Niall says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world and Harry tries to ignore the warmth spreading through his chest. "She said you should smile for once though," he finishes off with and Harry feels a tiny bit guilty. Niall’s sent his girlfriend - he doesn’t care to remember her name, he’s secretly hoping that he won’t need to deal with this next year - multiple pictures of them together, all of which Harry didn’t smile in. Some he had a tiny bit of a smile, but that was mostly due to him looking at Niall, but it still wasn’t enough to be actually noticeable in the picture. 

"I smile," Harry finds himself saying, all mumble-y and lame, and Niall’s sitting up then.  

"You haven’t smiled much this visit," Niall tells him and he actually sounds  _hurt._  Harry wants to tell him it comes with age, the gloominess, he’s just embracing the emotions of his teenaged life and goes to tell him, but then Niall’s placing his phone down and diving down to him. He manages to get Harry onto his back, Nintendo DS falling onto the floor and nimble fingers brushing against his sides in an obvious attack. Harry squirms and shrieks, tries to get Niall off by bumping him around with his body, but it’s no use.  

Harry may have gotten taller now, almost taller than Niall but not quite reaching yet, but Niall’s still sturdy on top of him, effectively tickling Harry into a squirming, giggling mess on his bed. A flash goes off on the side of them and then Niall’s stopping, fingers leaving Harry’s sides in favour of slipping off him and reaching for his phone. He sounds triumphant when he looks at his phone again. 

"I got one of you smiling!" Niall’s saying, a smile of his own spreading wide against his face, sides of his eyes pinching together cutely and nose scrunching up the slightest amount. He looks absolutely ecstatic as he holds the phone close to Harry’s face, who’s panting on the bed still trying to regain his breathing. It’s a cute picture, is the first thing that crosses Harry’s mind, Niall on top of him with a giddy smile as Harry’s face is turned off to the side, facing the camera and a wide smile spread across it. They’re both slightly pink in the cheeks, faces bright and open - innocent in a way. It’s a cute picture, Harry thinks again as Niall pulls his phone back and mumbles that he’s going to send it. 

He shows the text to Harry, makes sure he’s okay with it and Harry reads the ‘had t tickle him t get him t smile haha !’ caption before he finds himself nodding, feeling somewhat tired from the small tickle fight. Niall pulls the phone back, hits send before throwing his phone off to the side somewhere on Harry’s bed. He lies down next to Harry on his stomach, head turned to face him, hand between their bodies resting by Harry’s shoulder. Niall looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t know how to word it and Harry braces himself, knows it probably has to do with his behaviour this visit. 

"You don’t like Amy, do you?" Harry takes a minute to remember that Amy is Niall’s girlfriend’s name before looking at him incredulously. Sure, he doesn’t like her, but he’s not going to  _admit_  that. 

"I don’t even know her," he says, keeps his voice as even as he can to show that he’s not lying. Which - he isn’t, he doesn’t know her, but he still feels a pang of dislike every time he thinks about what she might look like, if Niall and her have kissed yet, held hands - he’s frowning now and he can feel it. Niall’s rolling his eyes beside him. 

"You’ve been grumpy ever since I told you I had a girlfriend," Niall says and Harry knows he can’t lie to Niall anymore, not after being so obviously called out. He sighs, looks down at Niall’s elbow and tries to form his feelings into words. 

"It’s just that - you’ve spent so much time texting her," Harry starts out saying, looks up at Niall’s concerned eyes. "We only see each other during Christmas holidays, shouldn’t we be spending it together? You get to see her the rest of the year," he finishes explaining and is shocked to find himself actually tearing up. He knew he felt like this, but he hadn’t realized exactly  _how_  much. Niall looks just as sad, though, Harry notices when he looks him back in the eyes. 

"I’m so sorry, Haz,” he’s whispering, hand reaching out to tangle with Harry’s. Harry meets him half way and blinks back his tears as best he can. “I’m just so happy with her, Harry, it’s unbelievable. You make me just as happy and I hate that I can’t have two of my favourite people with me at the same time, that’s why I was texting her. It was like I had the two of you here with me, together. It made me really happy, Harry,” Niall finishes saying, all the same quiet that he had when he apologized. A ding sounds off again, but Niall doesn’t move to answer it, his fingers tightening around Harry’s and Harry feels like a complete arse. He was being selfish, hadn’t realized that Niall was trying to compromise and make the best of the situation. He thinks back to all the times Niall had called him while they weren’t together and thought about how Amy had felt when they spent hours on the phone. Harry wonders if she’s actually better for Niall than he is. 

"I’m sorry, I hadn’t realized," he whispers and Niall reaches a finger out to wipe at the tear that’s slowly sliding down his cheek. Niall kisses it after, lingers a bit before pulling away and smiling softly. 

"It’s okay, I love you," he says and Harry feels a bit better. He still feels like a selfish arsehole, but tries to push it behind to make the best of the rest of Niall’s visit. "Let’s go help Anne make some cookies," Niall’s saying then and he’s sitting up, reaching for his phone that had made its way underneath Harry’s legs. He honestly hadn’t noticed the phone there, but nods anyway and sits up. They race each other down the stairs.  

When in the kitchen they announce that they’ll be helping and Anne smiles sweetly, shows them where the recipe is and sneaks her way out of the kitchen to leave the boys to do it themselves. Harry notices, even notices the knowing smirk on her face as she leaves, but ignores it, chooses to enjoy baking with Niall even if he stops every once in a while to text his girlfriend back.  

In the end Niall ends up giving Harry a heart shaped sugar cookie that he hadn’t noticed Niall making, all topped off with a nice shade of pink icing and white sprinkles. It’s pretty, Harry thinks, but when he looks up and sees the soft look Niall’s giving him in hopes of forgiveness, Harry thinks it’s not as pretty as Niall. They end up sneaking a small plate of cookies for themselves and some eggnog, Niall pulling out a bottle of some type of alcohol he stole from Bobby and pouring it into their eggnog.  

Feeling like he’s on top of the world after drinking a few cups of the spiked eggnog, Harry kisses Niall on the cheek - a bit too close to his mouth, but Niall doesn’t say anything. Harry doesn’t either.  

-  

Harry wakes up with a fuzzy feeling throat and something  _definitely_  poking into his side. He’s lying sort of oddly - mostly on his back, but slightly on his side, perfect position for Niall to have his fairly hard penis poking into his left butt cheek the slightest amount. Harry feels himself trying not to blush too much - tries not to choke on his spit like what he feels his throat trying to do. It’s awkward as hell, he’s ready to admit, but he can’t find it in himself to turn around and tell Niall to piss off and fix his damn stupid problem. Mostly because Harry’s, like, really positive that Niall’s still asleep. In hindsight sixteen and fifteen year old boys sharing a bed while still having some of the awkward effects of puberty hitting them probably wasn’t the best idea.  

It’s especially not the best idea when Harry shifts his leg the slightest amount and feels himself already getting pretty hard. Niall’s gotten harder behind him, embarrassingly so, and Harry feels Niall start to pant on the back of his neck - all hot breaths dampening the skin slightly, curls pushed up out of the way due to his odd sleeping habits. Niall let’s out a tiny moan then and the sound goes straight to Harry’s dick, making it fatten up even more against his leg. He’s starting to push his hips forward and harder against Harry’s butt, causing Harry to let out a little gasp and unconsciously move his own hips back against Niall. 

Niall let’s out another moan, low and quiet, slipped out under his breath and then he’s rocking his hips against Harry’s, pressing hard. One of his hands slip up from behind Harry and holds him tight around the waist, not allowing him to move any further away and Harry has the slightest bit of worry that Niall’s actually awake now. It was one thing if Niall was asleep and hadn’t realized, but it's another if he is fully conscious now and doing it on purpose. Harry was mostly worried he would find it weird or be pulling some harsh prank against him after he’s found out Harry’s feelings for him from that time after Niall broke up with his girlfriend and they had skyped the whole night. Harry had went to bed then with pink cheeks from Niall telling him he’s glad he has Harry and, oh,  _god,_  Niall’s moaning against his neck now, lips pressed softly against the skin. 

Harry can’t help the blush he feels burning his cheeks and spreading up to his ears, pants of his own softly falling out of his mouth, and he turns around to face Niall. His arm around Harry’s waist slips off easily and his face shifts in his sleep. He wakes up then, looking groggily up at Harry. They stare at each other for a long while - it feels like thirty solid minutes have passed and the whole time was spent with the two boys looking into each other’s wide eyes as a blush as bright and harsh as Harry’s starts spreading across Niall’s face and making his freckles disappear.  

"Um," Niall starts then, closes his mouth and swallows some spit before opening it again. "Sorry," he mumbles and he’s not looking at Harry anymore, looks to be starting to roll away and probably head to the bathroom or something, but Harry doesn’t want him to anymore. He was right - it’s different when Niall’s awake. Just not how he thought it was at first. Different in the way that Harry wants to keep going, wants to keep a hold on Niall and wants to feel how he would feel against him again. Yeah, fuck -  _different._  

Harry reaches forward slowly, but fast enough to catch Niall before he lifts the comforter off Harry’s bed to slip out and leave and catches his elbow. Niall looks back at him and he looks scared and embarrassed and Harry ignores the way the blush makes him look all sorts of pretty and sends a fluttering in his stomach in favour of sliding his hand across Niall’s body to his tented briefs. Yeah, they probably should’ve slept in more clothes than just  _pants,_  but Harry can’t bring himself to care right now. Niall let’s out a soft sigh as Harry presses against his hard dick before covering his face with his hands.  

"H-Haz, please, don’t -,” Niall’s saying from underneath his palms, but Harry doesn’t listen, focuses instead on the feel of the nice heat that’s coming from underneath the soft fabric of Niall’s black briefs. He squeezes the outline of Nialls dick at first, hears him take in a sharp breath from beneath his hands that are still against his face before moving his palm around. Niall makes this noise that Harry  _really_  likes and he really wants Niall to make it again. His own hard dick is start to kind of hurt between his thighs and he gets a bright idea out of all the jumbled thoughts of Niall’s dick in his palm. “It’s embarrassing -,” 

He pushes at Niall’s shoulder, who yelps in confusion, his hands  _finally_  coming down from his face as he grips Harry’s shoulders tightly as he straddles the older boy. On top of Niall is something else - he’s still got a blush staining his face and it’s starting to spread even more, heading lower down Niall’s bare chest and Harry kind of really wants to chase it with his lips. He doesn’t - instead suits himself with fitting between Niall’s legs and slotting their hips together before hesitating a bit. Harry looks up at Niall, waits for him to say  _yes_  or to nod his head or  _something,_  and when he does, mutters a “go on, Harry,” Harry blushes and thrusts hesitantly. 

Niall’s hair is off his forehead, Harry notices, running back against the pillow case underneath his head, bits of hair here and there sticking up oddly. He looks so kissable. 

They start rocking against each other through their briefs like that, slowly at first, but then Harry feels a burn deep in his stomach that he wants to crush and chases the fluttery feeling in his chest with every soft moan Niall let’s out. He looks down again, sees Niall with the back of one of his hands covering his mouth in an attempt to keep himself even more quiet than he already is being while his other hand loosely grips at Harry’s elbow.   

Harry feels good - feels amazing, feels on top of the world, and he wants to hear Niall feeling the same. His eyes are screwed up, face turning splotchy and cute and Harry leans down to tuck his face between Niall’s neck and shoulder. 

Harry rocks faster against Niall, he feels him spread his legs slightly beneath him and it sends a canon of butterflies down his gut. He lets out this moan, dragged out and high pitched when Harry pushes harder and faster and Harry feels himself shiver. Niall’s arms reach up and around Harry, wrapping around his back and holding him while they rock against each other, both boys chasing the feeling in their gut. Harry’s hips are stuttering then, moving oddly and all over the place and then he’s spilling over the edge, all inside of his briefs. He rocks himself against Niall through it all and the older boy ends up coming not long after with a small, choked out moan that sounds a lot like Harry’s name. 

They lay flat against each other, both breathless and panting, cheeks burning and a feeling of sleep washing over them. Niall’s suddenly giggling, then, all cute and soft and hiccupping and Harry thinks he’s the most beautiful boy in the world.  

"Got any pants I could borrow, then, Petal?" Niall’s asking and Harry feels himself blush all over again, but snuggles deeper into the blonde’s neck instead, feeling all washed out and tired. It’s nice, Niall still holding him and a warmth over both their bodies, blankets wrapped around them and the sun shining prettily in through the frosty window.   

“Mmm, yeah,” Harry says eventually, moves to get up, but feels Niall’s arms still wrapped tight around him as he tries. He looks down at Niall’s face who’s looking at him with soft, wide eyes and he wonders what that look means. It sends butterflies shooting through his veins, though, making his whole body feel fuzzy. He’s smiling then, pink lips stretching over crooked teeth, all shiny from spit and cheeks still splotchy red, hair mused in silly places.   

"Sorry, Haz,” Niall’s saying, let’s his arms from around Harry drop down to his sides and Harry slides up and off him, makes sure not to move the blankets too much to cool Niall off or something. When he looks back over his shoulder, Niall’s on his side, elbow pressing into the bed and head resting on his palm watching Harry. He’s got this little smile on his lips and Harry tries to not feel too embarrassed as he shuffles awkwardly at the gross feeling in his pants over to his dresser.  

Harry tosses the briefs over to Niall who smiles wider before getting up and stepping out of Harry’s bed. He tries to ignore the bit of wetness in the front of Niall’s briefs and hopes that he doesn’t have the same on his. Niall starts tugging at the waistband of them and that’s when Harry looks away, cheeks heating up and tugs at his own before slipping a fresh pair on. He looks back at Niall over his shoulder as he’s done and sees him finishing adjusting the band around his hips before looking at Harry and smiling wide. 

The sun’s shining in behind him, making his hair disappear in the bright light a bit and the rest of his edges looking all soft and pretty. Harry really wants to kiss Niall. When he walks up to Niall, he doesn’t do anything. His smile is just as wide. When he places his hands on Niall’s hips, he doesn’t do anything. Smile seeming to get even wider. When he leans in and presses his lips against Niall’s lips, he does something. He let’s out a soft sigh, arms wrapping around Harry’s shoulders - god, when did he get taller than Niall? - and he kisses  _back._

-  

When they’re eighteen - Harry still seventeen, but, whatever,  _details_  - Niall lives in London for Uni. He’s also staying there for a few days of his break to spend time with friends. Harry’s fine with that, honestly, he does miss Niall terribly though and drives to meet him at the school. 

He’s sweaty, he finds, as he bounces on the balls of his feet waiting to see a flash of blonde hair - or maybe just the bit of blonde fringe sticking out of his beanie as he makes his way to the lobby of the dorm building. Harry wipes his sweaty palms on the inside of his pockets and pulls them out after, fists them at his sides and stops bouncing. He looks to his side and sees Niall with a bag over his shoulder and a large smile spread across his face. Harry tries not to blush at the sight of the braces covering his teeth. After he left last year - Harry bites his lip at the thought of last year - he had gotten them. Bobby had been saving up for a few years to be able to get him them. Niall’s expressed his embarrassment of having braces at eighteen, but Harry knows he’s really grateful for them. 

"Hi," he starts to say, but then he’s spluttering against the press of Niall’s soft lips against his. When Niall pulls away he has the same bright-as-ever smile on his face and he slips his hand into Harry’s, tangling their fingers, and making Harry blush slightly.  

"Let’s get to yours, yeah?" Niall says and starts walking, pulling a dazed and confused Harry along behind him. Niall asks to drive as he tugs at his beanie and Harry hands him the keys without really thinking and gets into the passengers side without a second thought. It’s odd, Harry thinks, Niall kissing him. Sure, he’s wanted that to happen again and again and again since they were twelve and Gemma stuck a mistletoe above their little heads, but he never thought it would happen with Niall being the one to initiate it. It’s always been him, always. 

"What was that about?" Harry finds himself asking. He hadn’t really meant to voice anything, but they’re nearly outside of the village now and he’s been thinking about it all for too long. Niall glances at him before looking back to the road. He’s taken his beanie off once the car heated up nicely, tossed it onto the dashboard and Harry’s found himself staring at it for a while.   

"What was what?" Niall asks and he sits back, one hand dropping from the steering wheel and resting on his thighs. Harry finds himself staring at the gray fabric of his sweatpants, watches the way Niall’s thumb slides against it slowly. 

"The, like, kissing - and stuff," he says, thumb coming up to his own lips to chew on the skin on the side of it. Niall looks over at him and this time he looks - sad, he looks sad and Harry feels like shit and then he’s pulling the car off to the side of the road and parking it before turning fully to face Harry beside him. He let’s out a groan after a few seconds and then his hands are on his face, rubbing against it before moving up to his hair. His face looks watery and red around his eyes, tip of his nose, and some spots on his forehead and his hands are holding back his floppy hair. 

"That’s always like you, Harry, isn’t?" Niall asks while looking directly into Harry’s eyes and his hands drop as he takes a deep breath in. "Never seeing the bigger picture, god, how could you be so thick?" he asks and Harry finds himself staring at Niall for a really long time. Harry can see as the tears start filling up the corners of Niall’s eyes and he feels like shit, complete shit. Look at him go and just ruin everything. Niall scoffs and shakes his head, wipes at his eyes. “Do you not remember Christmas Eve then? What we did?" he asks and Harry feels tears prick at his own eyes know. Of course he remembers that! 

He also feels a bit of a blush coming to his cheeks, but he tries his best to push it down, instead looks out the front windshield - more like glares at it. Yeah, Harry remembers Christmas Eve last year. They fucked - Harry had thought that was it, they were finally going to be together, but when he woke up, he was cold and alone and slightly sore. Only a little sore, but it was still enough to tell Harry that he didn’t dream it up, didn’t dream up Niall fucking -  _making love,_  his mind screams - him and then leaving him. Harry remembers crying that morning before getting up to receive his present and then head out for dinner with family. He tried his best not to cry while his little cousins pulled and tugged on his limbs in excitement over seeing him. 

"We fucked," Harry mumbles and feels the tears start to blur his vision a bit. Niall’s head shoots towards him again and he looks so hurt - so fucking  _hurt_  and Harry feels even worse. It’s like a constant punch to his chest, one after the other, harder and harder each time. It sucks, it all fucking sucks and he feels like screaming, but can’t do anything about it. 

"Is that all that was to you?" Niall’s asking him and it’s Harry’s turn to scoff. Niall was the one who left! Not Harry! Niall’s tears are falling down, constant, and he’s not even bothering to wipe them away. Harry’s confused, doesn’t know why Niall’s so upset about this. "I guess it meant more to me than it did to you, didn’t it?" he says and Harry feels his lungs drop down to his stomach, making a small gasp fall out of his lips. He’s quick to recover, though, and feels himself getting angry at Niall. 

"You left right after!" Harry’s yelling now, hands clenching into fists in his lap. Niall’s looking at him like he’s an idiot and Harry thinks maybe he is, he can’t remember. 

“I told you I had an early flight, that Bobby wasn’t even coming down with me that year, but I wanted to see you. I worked to pay for that ticket, but only afforded one for two days and had to leave at three am! I kissed you goodbye! Told you I was leaving and would see you next year! I told you all of this, Harry, what the fuck!” Niall’s saying and Harry finds himself crying now, feels like an idiot for not remembering that for months, remembers the feel of soft lips against his before a whisper of goodnight, see you next year, and that Niall did mention that it would be a short visit. He feels like a total idiot and starts crying as well and he tries not to laugh about the fact that they’re both crying in a car on the side of the road.  

"I can’t believe I didn’t remember, I’m so sorry," he’s mumbling over and over and Niall let’s out a small chuckle before leaning over and grabbing onto one of Harry’s hands and holding tight, fingers tangled. 

“This is so cheesy,” Niall says before he’s leaning over and kissing Harry. It’s soft and a bit salty from the tears, but it’s nice, makes Harry feel all warm and pleasant like he always does with Niall. “Please be my boyfriend, you thick headed idiot,” Niall says against his lips and Harry smiles through his tears before nodding yes and kissing him again. They kiss like that for a while, all soft and precious, just letting the feel of each other really  _sink in_  because it all feels too surreal. It’s getting dark and has started snowing by the time they start driving on again.  

They arrive at the house later than they first said they would, neither boy thinking of sending a text in warning, but no one’s really too worried. Bobby’s sitting at the kitchen table waiting to surprise the both of them and when Niall sees him, he smiles wide and shouts a dragged out “Bobby!”. No one seems to notice that they’re holding hands, or if they do, they don’t really react to it and when Harry kisses Niall on the lips and all soft sighs and pink cheeks - nobody blinks an eye.  

- 

They’ve been officially dating for three years now and they’ve recently moved in together and are both going to a Uni in London and it’s all great and lovely and their parents are so happy for them. It’s the holidays again, Niall being twenty-one and constantly teasing that if they lived in America he would be the only one to be able to actually drink while Harry would have to just have a juice box in the corner. Harry’s twenty. Niall giggles into his neck whenever Harry pouts for the  _millionth_  time about how they’re only a few months apart and that they live in the UK anyway, that doesn’t matter, loser, as they walk into Harry’s childhood home. 

It’s strange, he comes down for frequent visits, but it feels like it’s been ages since the last time - it’s different and odd with Niall being all smiley and blushes and kissed by the cool air of winter, leaving behind pink ears and a just as pink nose. Different in the way that Niall greets all of Harry’s younger cousins with loud chuckles and wide grins, braces long gone and having perfected the crooked teeth Harry sometimes miss. It’s different as Harry tucks a few strands of loose curls behind his ear after taking off his scarf, jacket and shoes. Niall’s got a kid on his hip, smile on his face and he reaches out a hand for Harry to hold. 

Both of Niall’s parents are down this time and smiling and laughing at one of Robin’s jokes. Anne is on Robin’s arm and smiling sweetly, Gemma not far off with her own boyfriend. Harry feels like cracking a joke about all the couples, but decides against it. Besides, Niall’s parents aren’t together, Harry finds it kind of funny that they’re both here. They both haven’t been down since the divorce, it being Bobby’s family and Maura not wanting to over step any boundaries. Harry respects how friendly they all are to each other still. They all smile in greetings to the couple and Niall’s saying something to Harry’s cousin that’s on his hip before putting him down and Anne’s walking up to them. 

She kisses both of their cheeks and then it’s Maura, pinching Harry’s cheek like she did the first time they met and pressing a quick kiss to her son’s lips. “Missed you,” she mumbles and Niall hugs her tight. Bobby’s after, pressing a firm hand to Harry’s shoulder before hugging his son. Harry finds himself getting nervous, they haven’t been down in only a few weeks, they don’t  _need_  this formal of a greeting. Still, it’s nice, settles a warmth deep in his stomach and he’s happy. 

They sit down on the couch together, Niall wrapping his arm around Harry’s shoulders and he feels nice and settled, warm. Harry finally looks over to Niall, sees for the first time how nervous he actually looks and finally feels the sweatiness of his palm. It’s strange - different and Harry can’t figure out why. Niall’s cheeks are pink and he looks close to throwing up. 

"You alright?" Harry asks him and he hears how heavy Niall’s breathing. Niall closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath before opening them again and looking towards Harry, mumbling an "alright," underneath his breath before standing up and taking Harry with him. He calls for everyone’s attention then, says he has something important to say and Harry’s expecting him to announce they’re getting a dog or something, he literally can’t think of anything else, his brain kind of numbing when Niall turns towards him and tangles his fingers with his. 

"Oh, god, this is a bit terrifying," Niall’s saying and let’s out a small chuckle, Harry hears it echo throughout the whole house from all of their friends and family watching them and laughing with Niall. He feels his cheeks heat up. “But, Harry, we’ve been together for three years now, known each other since we were five, god, how cliche is that?” he asks and everyone’s laughing again, even Harry despite the swelling of his chest that seems to be clogging his throat. “The thing is, I think I’ve sort of loved you since I called you a silly Billy and you replied with ‘m names not Billy’ in that cute high pitched voice of yours. I literally remember every visit and I can’t believe it took me so long to figure out how to get you to be with me. It took us being stupid and crying on the side of the road for it to work,” Niall is saying and Harry feels himself feeling oddly nostalgic. He felt tears tickling the backs of his eyes when Niall said he loved him for so long. 

"Well, I can’t believe how happy I am with you," he’s saying now, fingers tightening and relaxing around Harry’s every once in a while and he’s watching their hands. "Actually I can - I just can’t believe that I’m actually dating you. For three years at that! It’s crazy, Haz, you were my first everything and I can’t believe I didn’t realize how hopelessly in love with me you were after I told you about my first girlfriend Amy,” Niall says and Harry feels himself blushing, wants to hide behind his hand but decides against it. His chest feels all odd and tingly and he thinks he knows where this is going. He hopes with all of him that it’s going where he thinks it is. 

"You’ve always been my favourite place, yeah? Wasn’t really Holmes Chapel that I was looking forward to - it was you. I -,” he pauses then, shoulders drooping slightly and he’s looking off to the side before looking back up at Harry. “I only found that out when you moved in with me and I found myself so happy in London for the first time. Like, London is fecking amazing, yeah? It just didn’t feel complete, you know? It was weird, I didn’t know how to explain it but then - but then it all fell into place when I was walking around one day trying to shop for Christmas and -,” Niall pauses, takes a deep breath before looking directly into Harry’s eyes. “And I stopped into this one shop. It made sense then, all of the happiness I felt with you and this constant warmth that’s always filling my insides when we touch or are just  _near_  each other. Reckon I might’ve known this since I was sixteen, Harry,” he says and then he’s digging into his pocket and Harry feels himself holding his breath. 

Niall’s pulling out a box, a small box, and he’s getting down on one knee. Harry’s standing in front of Niall as he’s opening the box and presenting a beautiful silver band and Harry still hasn’t let go of that breath he's holding. He hears the chorus of gasps around them all, kind of wishes he could do that too - chest feeling like it’s on fire, but he can’t  _move_  - and Niall’s looking up at him with those bright, wide eyes of his that he’s fallen in love with.  

"Will you marry me?" Niall’s asking him, face looking all of hopeful, excited, and doubtful at once, smile spreading across his face - wrinkles coming out in places it used to not since he aged - and Harry feels himself finally let out the breath, drops to his knees and hugs Niall tightly. He’s mumbling a yes over and over into Niall’s shoulder and it all feels so wonderful, doesn’t even care if they’re too young for it, they can hold off the actual wedding until the right time, it doesn’t matter to Harry as long as he  _gets to._  They pull apart after a few seconds and Niall kisses him hard, holds him there for a bit and it feels like he’s trying to convince himself that Harry’s there, that Harry said yes. There’s cheering around them and they pull apart, both of them blushing slightly before Niall’s sliding the silver wedding band onto Harry’s finger. 

- 

December 22 2016; 

They get married. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> who figured out that Niall was the one who invited all of their family members/friends to Harry's old family home when they were 20/21 because he planned to propose then??????? He totally subconsciously knew that he wanted to marry Harry for months before and then consciously knew when he stopped in that shop he talked about in the fic in _November,_ the nerd, and had planned it for weeks. He's lame, almost proposed like 9857498 times before just because Harry did something cute like put his hair in a bun probably.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Happy holidays!


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